Cards

My friend just got married so I got his wife a wedding card and got him a get well soon card.

corny

Train Ride

Just gave an old lady my seat on the train. She blessed me by looking at me and doing the hand movement of a cross. Definitely took my seat back.

goodjewishboy

Basketball at union square in sf.  Too much fun.

Basketball at union square in sf. Too much fun.

One of the many reasons why I dont mind walking 2.7 miles to a show.  #sf

One of the many reasons why I dont mind walking 2.7 miles to a show. #sf

sf

Me looking at someone’s dish and thinking, “maaaaan that ish aint kosher.”  #offthegrid

Me looking at someone’s dish and thinking, “maaaaan that ish aint kosher.” #offthegrid

offthegrid

Educated Guss

My friend said, “If I had to make an educated guess, I would say-“ 

I cut him off right away because he dropped out of high school and told him, “If I had to make an educated guess I would guess that your educated guess is just a guess.”

He was confused. 

Told them at my new day job I love karaoke and they made a portrait of me doing stand up.   So frustrating

Told them at my new day job I love karaoke and they made a portrait of me doing stand up. So frustrating

Dance Clubs- 20, 20, 20 Rule

I went to a night club last Saturday.  My group of friends are all fraternity brothers so I guess I’m what you call adopted.  It amazes me that people are still going to those man made saunas. “Hey Nathan, you want to burn 20 dollars on a taxi ride, and then wait 20 minutes in line during the coldest time of the night with your lightest type of clothing?”  ”Ya I’m not sure I-” “How would you like it if I told you when you’re first in line you get to pay 20 dollars to enter the building and then immediately regret that transaction with no recite?”  ”I mean, that just doesn’t sound so-” “Luckily there will be a bunch of dudes grinding and bumping you while you’re trying to hopelessly get the bartenders attention.”  ”Ok fine, but only if I order a vodka coke and don’t feel the vodka at all.”  

I’m pretty sure my lady friend was saying that dancing is the best way to express yourself by feeling completely free. It was just hard to hear her with seven dudes thrusting their hips at her giving her no room to breath.  

I think it’s great how clubs require you to wear black dress shoes because when you leave, you can clearly see how much fun you had by the amount of sweat, alcohol, and glitter that’s imprinted on your new shoes.  

If going to the club is so much fun, why do we pay extra to do exactly what we do in our house?  ”Hey guys, I’m tired of staying inside with all of my closest buddies listening to music, drinking beers, and sitting on our comfy couches, lets go dancing.”  ”Yea, I don’t really want to guess which sweat is mine or not.”  ”No man, thats why we’re going to pay 50 dollars each for the VIP bottle service.  That way we can listen to music, drink beer, and sit on comfy couches.”  ”Lets do it!”  

dance party party hard comedy stand up comedy